Pull it together

Pinning- with amazing results!

2012-01-16T20:09:00.000-08:00

Pinterest knows there are surly and snarky people like me, who like to rain on people's cheeziness. They have designed a site that forces me to be positive. God might have helped fund it just to make me a better person.

But I do a lot of eye rolling. A ton. A metric ton (I'm not sure if it's bigger, but it sounds bigger.) Some people can't tolerate cheese because of a bad lactose reaction. I can't tolerate cheez, because my tastes are wired like a man's. (this kind of man, not that kind of man)

It's why I couldn't be in Las Madres, and why I'm the odd mom at the Girl Scout meetings, why I can't go to pyramid scheme parties, and why Live Laugh Love makes me want to break something.

Pinterest doesn't allow me to have a lampoon easily, but since Blogger does (kisses!) I'm going to share with you something amazing (read: <3 * :) AMAZING * :) <3 ) that I have noticed on Pinterest.

These items are so good you might already have picked up on them by now, but if not, you'll be grateful I let you in on the secrets:

1.Hairstyles that will make you look scalding hot!

Haircut is everything! Celebrity hairstyles are the key to total hotness. The reason someone pinned this photo with "love this hairstyle" is because that is why Demi is so hot, long straight hair, duh. That pinner knows the secret!

So I pinned this pic of Crystal, you've seen her on TV I'm sure. I bet that hairstyle even helped Brandon find his missing box of condoms (see caption if you're confused). The right hairstyle not only changes your whole appearance, it can change your life.

2. The right eyeshadow can give you a face like an aphrodite-angel-temptress!

Extra chins and cystic acne got you feeling like you should wear a burka even though you're not Saudi? Well with a few brushes of the right mineral shadow and you'll go from this:

(here's a photo I took of myself this morning before I put on the eyeshadow someone pinned)

TO THIS!

See how just a little bit of violet powder applied the right way can make you look <3 * :) AMAZING :) * <3 ??? I looked just like that when I walked out of my bathroom, no joke.

Yes. It changes everything. No wonder we spend 8 billion a year on these magical beauty elixirs of life!

3.The perfectly styled ensemble will make you hotter than the plasmic surface of the sun.

I needed a new swimsuit, so I waited until someone pinned one that I thought was really cute.

Because last year I got a one piece and I don't think it really worked on me. Here's a photo of me at the beach:

You see what the problem was, right? I'll give you a hint...

That's right! It was missing polka dots!

They changed everything. Thank goodness someone pinned this swimsuit, because I look super hot in it. My thighs are as narrow as my upper arms and my upper arms are the same as a 4th graders! Not to mention my smooth lustrous cappuccino skin tone and my thick long hair (no hot rollers or extensions necessary! the right swimsuit does it all!)

My legal team requires me to tell you: The reason we think something looks really pretty/cool isn't because of the style/product in the photo, it's the insanely beautiful/thin person sporting it in perfect lighting shot by a professional.

Post script: Pinterest has made me hate weddings. Wait, I mean, HATE weddings.

Just like Facebook made me hate Farmville. Farmville is probably very nice, with virtual pigglets and cows that never get slaughtered. But I hate it and you might even hate it too because it's all over Facebook annoying the crap out of us!

Likewise with wedding stuff on Pinterest.

I had a wedding, it was fine.

I've been to weddings, they were fine.

Whatever.

It's like 2 hours of your 683,306 hours of lifetime. It could melt everyone's face off with how awesome it is, and then it's over and you have to unload the dishwasher again and floss your teeth, and so does everyone else.

That's not to say that a wedding should be tragic and sad, it should be happy and nice, and all that.

But I've reached my limit and now if I see another "save the date" idea I think I'm going to throw up my Filet-o_Fish all over my keyboard.

nevermind!

2011-12-17T08:11:00.000-08:00

After realizing that sleeping in wasn't happening (because at dawn the kids were screaming and flopping on the bunk beds butted right against our headboard wall), I decided to use our over-sized bathtub for the first time in 6 months. Like an aquatic version of sleeping in.
It takes a while to fill up, so you have to kinda' plan the bath and have some time carved out.
I filled it up, and even dug up the sea mineral mask I had paid way too much for and slathered that on.
I opened the door and let one chihuahua out of the bathroom, while the other (read: fatter and older) chihuahua stayed perfectly still in his self rolled blanket burrito.
The tub was finally full. Enough doors have been closed and locked between the kids and I that I can no longer hear them.
A peaceful ten minutes passed.

**wretch! wretch! --hurl---**

My dog barfed up what looked to be a good portion of the compost pile (no doubt from last nights black op).

**wretch! wretch! --hurl---**

Still barfing. Oh and now cleaning it up by himself, great. I don't know which sound is more repulsive.

That dog spends 80% of his day sleeping in his bed. But he waited for the rare opportunity when I was there with him to share his special trick with me.

Gah!

The offender, who was too nervous/ill to hold still.

stranger judging

2011-12-13T22:06:00.000-08:00

I don't really follow celebrity news for two reasons:

1) It would annoy me if I were a celebrity to have sleazy people taking photos and writing cheap stories about me whenever I bought toilet paper or ate a fro-yo.

2) I don't know who most of the "celebrities" are.

I do however have a blog crush on the Go Fug blog because they're so rofl funny, even if I have no idea who the person is in the critiqued photo. And because of that readership I came across this couple comparison which I don't understand:

Yes. This couple makes sense. If I saw them at a restaurant, I would first, feel really ugly fat and gross, and second think "that's nice, they're both very pretty, good for them," and go back to eating my pulled pork sandwich.

But this, no.

This doesn't make sense. I mean, just her outfit alone, even if he wasn't standing next to her, doesn't make sense.

She's uh...and he's much more...right?

I don't want to insult ordinary looking women. I myself am quite ordinary. Lower ordinary even. And yes, she has a celery sticks & pilates body. And yes, she can sing like a canary. She might even be a natural blonde. But the equation does not compute.

If I saw these two in a restaurant I would just keep looking at them and think "his cousin? his real estate agent?" and then there would be that uncomfortable eye contact, and eventually I would conclude "well good for her."

I'm not going to get all specific on who these people are, but after googling, I gathered that basically the guy ditched the incredibly pretty mother of his two sons (in the first photo) to "take his company in a different direction."

People confuse me. And this whole blog post has helped me kill time so that I don't have to do important things.

signed,

champion armchair judge and jury of total strangers on the internet

it's a small [racial lego] world

2011-11-13T22:48:00.000-08:00

This has been nagging my brain for like, over 20 years now.

When I was a kid I was confused by the terms white, black, red, yellow (ok, brown made some sense) especially in light of my Crayola 64 pack. And how I would use "peach" to color in a white Barbie and a "copper" to color in her black friend in my coloring book.

I mean, why didn't we call ourselves "peach" instead of white?

Well ok, maybe "white" is better marketing if you're a eugenicist, or whatever, but when I was 6, that wasn't part of my curriculum.

So here is my version of the terms, I finally got around to making it:

(click to enlarge)

Halloween, look what you've done

2011-09-20T14:40:00.000-07:00

If you're like me, you're tired of hearing anyone and everyone older than you saying "when I was a kid, ________ [insert national holiday here]____ was nothing like this, it was like __[insert simpler glazed over version of situation____."

And you may or may not roll your eyes.

I don't want to be another one of those people.

However, after abruptly picking up my tantruming 6 year old and leaving the fabric store this afternoon, I started to deconstruct how we got to that place. And my path went thusly

pre-20th century: superstitions, witch trials, people walked around with eye patches because they were actually missing an eyeball

mid 20th century: kindly-Norman-Rockwell-types passed out homemade candied apples to neighbors' kids that they knew by name, who dressed up in bedsheets and painted-green-faces. Razor blades and poison? What's that?

2011: My kids think that Halloween is as big as Christmas. I get questions like "why aren't we decorating [with $$$$'s of tacky tacky tackiness] for Halloween?" and the aforementioned "WHY CAN'T I GET GIANT [$20] BUTTERFLY WINGS WITH MY [$30} MERMAID COSTUME?! YOU ARE SO MEAN!!!"

I mean, I can't believe this is where I am.

I actually pulled her aside and gave her the age-old American guilt trip of most kids in this world didn't eat more than a bowl of grain today (widespread disease, child labor, pestilence, you know the spiel).
Did she care? Of course not.

No, all she cared about is how I was stopping her lifelong dream to become this:

Darn you Swimways WaterWays Mermaid Fairy! I blame you for the whole thing.

And now I'm going to look into ways to ship my kids to a third world country for a few weeks so they can experience some boils or have to milk a dehydrated goat for sustenance...

Sweet merciful crap! Five minutes!

2011-08-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

A single friend of mine and I were discussing the [fantastic] website $&#% My Kids Ruined and she said "what I want to know is, where are the parents when the kids are doing all of this?"
If you're a parent and you're reading this, you probably share my intital slightly insulted reaction, and perhaps my following sentiment of "oh, you'll see someday, someday when your own kid makes a peanut butter n' jelly sandwich with your new laptop, you'll see. And I'll laugh."

But as for this afternoon, I'll tell you where I was, for only five minutes while my kids cooked up some hot humble pie for me.

We've been working on the home addition, which causes me to interact with alot of real adults and big checks, and measurements and deadlines. On the phone, I try to sound really normal. I actually try to avoid dealing directly with humans in person at all (see previous post) but when it comes to flooring, gotta have people come and measure, no matter what.
So I scheduled a time for floor-guy to come, which was this afternoon, right after school. My last words to my little buttercups were "change into playground clothes, as soon as he leaves, we'll go"

I walk out to meet [Michael Chiarello's flooring doppleganger] and I'm immediately aware when I shake his hand how normal he is and how blue my hair is and how daisy my dukes are.

I show him the areas under construction using as many industry vocabulary terms as I can stuff into a sentence. He measures and then he said "and your hallway?"

{{{{violin screech}}}}

"right, the hallway-- um, come around this way," I say as I silently debate whether it's sounds crazier to forewarn that I have little kids or say nothing and hope for the best.

Upon opening the hallway door, this is what I, and more importantly what "Chiarello'" saw:

1.entire bag of cheddar bunnies dumped and crushed.
2. two chihuhuas scurrying for the hills (read: dirty laundry baskets)
3. one 6 yr old sobbing and holding a broken backyard chicken egg in each hand and struggling to offer explanation.
4. one totally naked 4 yr old with poopy butt repeatedly exclaiming "mom! You gotta wipe my butt!"

You got those measurements? Ok good.--" --*door close*

actually that's the opposite of good

2011-08-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

I was considering cutting off all my hair, mostly because I'm restless and in need of even more change.

I google image searched "short hairstyle fine hair"

(oh and how I wish "fine" meant super-fly, not infant wispy)

And this came up:

Umm...wow. That is precisely the look I'd like to avoid, thank you very much. I think the only worse interpretation "short fine hairstyle" is bald!

Then I added the search term "dark" to the image search and up came this:

She's gonna show up in my nightmares for sure; if that in fact is a human and not some demi-human character from a teenage vampire saga. Zoinks!

So I removed the word "hairstyle" and I got this:

Everyone knows, the terrier look went out of vogue at least 10 years ago, completely unflattering.

So maybe I don't want to cut it anymore...

home additions are pompous

2011-08-16T23:22:00.000-07:00

there I said it.

I both absolutely love the idea of adding a room to our little house and also think less of myself for it. I'm actually embarrassed to come out of my house and identify myself to the construction workers because I feel like I should have big shoulder pads and a bichon friese in my overly priced european handbag.

I want to keep blog-track of the construction, but I can't bring myself to do it. Like I might as well be the woman saying "I just eat anything I want, lemme show you how my weight keeps going down." That woman is annoying, and so is the person talking about home improvement in a big fat recession.

So, instead of highlighting the positive, I will gripe about fireplaces.

We used to have a fireplace. It never worked so it really was more of just a place, than a fireplace. A black hole in the wall where the spiders built condominium webs and tiny toys lost behind the couch would live in exile. We kept a couch in front of the 'place because when your living room has the dimensions of a family size Ritz box, you need all the space you can get.

A few weeks ago, it was bashed down with heavy machinery. Which is good, since our neighbor informed us that all of the fireplaces in our tract were considered condemned and unstable after the 1989 earthquake, which is why everyone else rennovated theirs. Grrreat.

I still want a fireplace, so we had one drawn into the plans in a much more subtle way. It won't block furniture or demand attention with Tuscan/Craftsman/Country details. I just want a glass rectangle, from behind which fire will occur. Seems simple enough?

No, it isn't. I'm learning that ordering a fireplace is like buying a used car, in a foreign country. There are no comprehensive user/customer reviews online. You can't order one online.** You have to order it from a shop. I'm Generation Y, I hate going to a shop with real life sales people. Real life sales people up-sell, dodge questions, and are creepy in general. Real life sales people question my style choices and budget. That makes me crazy.

-----

SIDETRACK: I'll translate the following sales phrases into how I hear them:

"Hi." = "I see you."

"How are you?" = "in case my manager is watching, I'm doing what s/he told me to"

"How can I help you?" = "you look lost and poor, are you in the right place?"

"What are you looking for?" = "I want to surmise how much of a sucker you are, I'll judge 1-10 by your answer."

------

The guy I got at the last shop, he was like in a time warp from last century. He was chauvinistic to say the least and kept bringing up my husband like he was Ralph Kramden and I was Alice. Annoying.
I guess it's the nature of the business. I might be the one and only 30 yr old woman that ever came in alone to buy a fireplace. Most people my age rent their place. The average homeowner in my neighborhood is old enough to be at least my parent or older.

Also they keep bank hours at those places, because the kind of people that spend big money on home heating don't have day jobs (?!) so I guess I have to take off work early to go? This whole thing is ludicrous, no wonder man invented central heating!

**correction: okay so I looked again and you can buy some fireplaces online, but it's really hard to know if you're getting what's right for the space and energy requirements.

how I hoodwinked the animal communists without an ounce of guilt

2011-07-02T18:54:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up in Texas, things were simple, when it came to dogs.
You don't want your dog? You take it to the shelter.
You want to get a new dog? You adopt one from the shelter.
Simple. Efficient. Dare I say, Libertarian.

Because after all, they are dogs.

Here in CA and especially in the bay area, adopting a dog is akin to international infant adoption.
Background checks, drug tests, retinal scans, and a very uncomfortable full-body-interview process, all of which is necessary before you can even take a number, to get on a list to be considered to fill out an application.*

*truth: okay, I exaggerated a teeny bit, but here are the real requirements:
You must take a number to make an appointment.
You must have all persons and animals who live in the household present to interview for the dog.
All persons and animals are then evaluated on dog-worthiness, by a staff person (read: crazy cat lady) for at least 30 minutes.
If for any reason the staff believes you are unfit to adopt the dog, you are rejected (and your children sob uncontrollably).

Since I have small children and an existing dog, this makes me largely ineligible for any dog adoption. Why is that? Because children get excited around cute new dogs and jump and yell, and Mojito freaks out being in an animal shelter. Especially when they make you wait in the lobby for 20 minutes so the children and chi-weenie can get all anxious and tense.

Yes, I tried twice in two different cities to adopt a homeless animal, and twice I was given verdict of unworthiness.

My reaction: I was furious.
I've had dogs for 25+ years. Mojito eats organic kibbles, gets walked, nails clipped, teeth/ears cleaned, belly rubbed, roams both fenced yards whenever he wants, and bonus, gets all the fallen floor food from my kids. He lives like a king.
But he sits alone for 6 hrs during the day and his best friend died last year, so sue me for wanting to get him a friend (wolfpack!).

And [crazy cat] ladies judge me?! No way!!

So last night I came up with a plan. insert maniacal laugh
This morning I executed it. insert badass transitional music

I took off my wedding ring, pulled out my passport with my maiden name and chose an alias mailing address, so to avoid traceability back to Mojito or his registration under my name.
I drove down to the unnamed city's animal shelter, arriving shortly after opening time with cash in my wallet and took a number. insert funk guitar riff...okay I'll quit the screenplay notes...

I handed them my passport and filled out my application as a single white female with no pets.

I picked out the sweetest little homeless and neglected chihuahua, ab libbed my lines in the interview and the dog was mine.

Mine, I tell you!!!

I walked out of there a winner.
I haven't felt that awesome in a long time. It was better than scratching a lucky $100 lotto ticket.

And even though I totally lied about my life-status, everyone wins. The overcrowded, under-funded shelter has one less mouth to feed, the dog gets a new home and a life of luxury that's better than most humans on earth get, and our family gets a new member to love.

Win win win.

The proverbial frosting was applied when I stuffed her into my totebag before walking through my front door. I had told the kids I was going to the store. Kevin knew where I was going (and he's still not happy about it) but he didn't know I had a dog hiding in my bag either.

Then I told Kid C to look inside to see what I had brought her. :D

I don't have to tell you that they didn't want to sit and eat their lunch after that revelation.

p.s. she's an incredibly good dog. I really can't believe how well behaved she is. Heaven knows where she came from, she's 4 lbs under weight and just came out of the shelter. But she's fantastic. :)

gee thanks mister

2011-05-26T22:59:00.000-07:00

Item	Description	Unit Price	Quantity	Sub Total
43	Monterey Bay Aquarium - Adult	$26.45	2	$52.90
13	Monterey Bay Aquarium - Child	$16.45	2	$32.90

	Order Sub Total			$85.80
	Shipping & Handling			$11.69

	Grand Total			$97.49
	Estimated Savings from List Price		$2.31

that's right, $2.31 saved...yeah, um I think I'll just get them at the door and save the UPS man some gas.

sheesh. so dumb.

Vacay Indecision 2011

2011-05-24T21:11:00.000-07:00

In a couple of weeks we have a 4 day weekend, both kids, both adults.

No, not Memorial weekend, the weekend after, it's not important, I digress...

First thought: Hit the road go stay somewhere!

Second thought: Wait, it's Summer now, and that means lodging rates are high.

Third thought: Crap.

I explored everything from KOA Kottages to hostels this evening, and it's pretty much $100/night unless a tent is involved.

And no tents will ever be involved, unless I'm hiding to save my life, or I am homeless!

I looked at just doing day trips, but to go to Great America or even Gilroy Gardens as a family is $200 (crazytown) not counting parking or food. The Boardwalk, easily $100 for the day, Zoo's $50+, and even the Newark splashy pool place is $40, and you have to endure Newark.

This is when I just had one of those "so-and-so has a cabin in such-and-such place, they never use it.

But we don't "know people" that "have nice stuff."

Not happenin.'

Someone was telling me how their family used to car-camp (instead of tent camp). They would fold down the seats or something in their van or wagon and sleep in there...oh but wait, there are 4 of us, that's insane, no.

I might as well just get a yurt.---No, I just looked up yurt rates across the state, those are $$$ too! Dangit!

The alternative obviously is that we don't go anywhere. We just treat it like a double weekend in which laundry and dishes are shuffled around and somebody spills something every 3 hours and I step on action figures and feed the pets.

Boo hiss, that's not fun. It's summer and I'm getting grey hairs, I wanna go somewhere.

The frustration of discouragement

2011-04-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

As I type this, my back is slumped, and unlike when I normally notice I'm slumped, I correct it, but I'm so downtrodden that I don't even care to prevent my old-lady-humpback from forming.

When I have days like today, when all the tiny things that happened add up to you suck I start to think that I'm supposed to change something in my life. So that the tiny-you-sucks will stop. It makes my mind wander around to:

"hey, I never waitressed before, maybe I could do that?"
or
"maybe I should just make paintings and sell them"
or
"maybe I should stop working altogether and stop paying for that expensive preschool and just stay home like a hippee and be one with the earth?"

But those aren't really good ideas. Well the painting one might be. I do think about it sometimes, that maybe I should just paint, and sell my paintings and tell graphic design to stick-it, or just be selfish with it and make my own badass promo materials from the comfort of my own dark creative cave...and grow a beard...

I also think "my dad just kept quitting things when he felt like he sucked, and that was disastrous to say the least."
So I have a little "quitting will make you a loser" tape that plays in my head*.
Even though my [earthly] gut says "go! take your family to the Amish country and never look back [else I be turned into a pillar of salt], I suppose that's not a viable option.

I wish I had the entrepreneurial wiring. Unfortunately according to Strengthsfinder 2.0 , I'm only good at coming up with ideas and being the first to act on them, not actually coming up with a plan and following through on it. I know this comes as a big shocker to everyone that knows me! But that makes me feel like a loser. 'That I can't manage people, and what I think is a detailed plan is what detailed people call an "outline."

I recently read Tina Fey's quasi-biography, and while reading it, I thought "I could be a comedy writer. I could totally do it!" But then I was discouraged that I'm already 30, and she got her college degree in playwriting. And I don't want to live in LA or NY, so that's out the window too.
But maybe just writing a book? Maybe that's attainable...

I know all this boils down to an attitude change. I need to accept that my daughter thinks she's better than the rest of the family, her will cannot be broken and just wait for that day when God smites her to rock bottom or something.
I need to accept that my son never wants to leave the house, won't eat anything but candy and gets in trouble all the time at school/church. I think he'll actually grow up to be just fine, and I have to just let people think I'm a terrible mother and be okay with that.
I need to accept the limitations of my job and be grateful for it. I need to continue to engage with other people even though on most days I want to stay in bed with my covers pulled over my head, because that's what humans have to do.
And I have to stop feeling bad that I'm not feminine, I have chubby upper arms and I'll never be as cool as the women in ReadyMade magazine.

Easier typed than done.

*other tapes that play in my head: "headbands are for normal size/shape heads, stay away" and "if you don't wear make-up, people won't be nice to you."

I just submitted this to another blog

2011-04-23T11:53:00.001-07:00

I just submitted this quick post to one of my favorite blogs.

-----

Around 18 mo's old, my first kid climbed on the toilet paper holder (like an indoor climbing wall) and broke it.

So my husband fixed it.

And she broke it again.

Repeat, repeat until we just gave up on having a tp holder and just put the roll on floor like a gas station restroom.

Recently, I thought I found a solution to the problem and stuck those 3M hooks onto the wall and tied a ribbon through them to hold the roll.

Then this morning, I walked in and saw this:

-----

*note 1: It's now been 5 years since we had a real TP holder

**note 2: The kids have their own bathroom down the hall, in which the tp holder is completely intact and unbroken.

Get out your Bibles, and cross out "corn"

2011-04-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

As I was researching Isaac Newton's determination of the original calendar date of the Crucifixion (the most scholarly thing I did all week, for sure) I noticed the mention of "corn."

A while back I heard a sermon in which the speaker referenced Biblical corn as well.

Corn?!

Corn is a New World crop, so why the heck are there 33 references to it, in both OT and NT?

Now, you probably know where this is going. It wasn't corn, the original Hebrew and Greek don't say "corn," they say grain.
But why not just say grain? Or phonetically translate the weird ancient word for it, like other hard to pronounce names and places?

According to a couple of commentaries I read, it's because the King James Translators knew that people of their time thought corn was really cool (because it was from the mysterious New World).
Then why do so many other modern translations still use "corn"? (Thankfully there are a number of English translations that say "grain") My theory is two fold: 1.American translators are USA-centric. Just like we counterintuitvely split Asia down the middle to make a world map with us in the center, so also do we think American corn is the best grain (it's in almost everything we eat). 2.Translators think we're smart enough to understand a triune God but too stupid to understand millet.

Darjeeling Unlimited

2011-03-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

I want to travel to India.

Really badly.

And unlike roughly half of our neighborhood, I can't just hop on a plane and hang out with family there for months at a time. (pssst, because I'm not from India)

Do you know how much a ticket to India costs?

I do.

Here's a hint: Southwest Airlines doesn't fly there.

It's about $1800.00, not counting the overnight hotel stay in London in the middle of the journey.

At this point I wonder: How is it that a family of four living in a tiny one room apartment with one Tercel between them, flies back and forth so often to their homeland, when it's $1800/pp?! Perplexing. (possible answer: they eat only rice and never go to Target?)

Kevin has absolutely no interest in going to India. He also had no interest in going to Africa or Haiti either, but he came with me on those adventures anyway. So I think I have a pretty good chance of whittling him down about it over the next few years.

I'd really like to take Kid C with me, so that means I'd have to wait 4-5 years. I wanna really hit home the idea of most-people-in-the-world-are-poor-and-you-live-like-a-princess as well as be an Auntie Mame character to her too.

Since it's so far in the future, I've begun planning and I'm not even looking at the prices.

Rupees are no object! ;)

The PBS series The Story of India has been most helpful!

(and it also made me curse my incompetent Asian Art History professor in college who totally sucked at teaching about it. I mean, how can you learn about India with a whiteboard and a green marker? )

First, since I'm a naive american, I thought I should probably do a tour. You know, to make sure I'm not shanghaied, enslaved or murdered for sport by unsavory fellows along the spice road.

Thanks to their former imperial lords the British, there are in fact anglo-oriented tours for anglos touring the Orient.

Tally Ho!...or should I said "Jai Ho!"?

They offer both group and private tours. At first thought, I leaned towards group touring, keeping in mind the Mutual of Omaha specials about herds of slow moving targets being safer than a stray beast by the water hole. But then I looked at their mini-maps of where the tour-herds graze and I didn't like those routes.

Plus, from my prior experience in Italy with our group tour, the doofus listening to Black Eyed Peas next to you and talking about his canadian pharmaceutical business really kills the local atmosphere.

So private touring it is. Oh but what to choose?...hmm...well since I have all the time and money in the world in my fantasy journey, let's pick 3 tours!

(Sickening Fact: when we toured Italy, we met rich kids on our trip that just took tour after tour of Europe all summer long. Spoiled kids! Barf!)

Tour number 1: Bombay Beaches and Caves

(check, check and check)

Bombay, no explanation needed.

Goa, beaches, also great.

I will totally let my flabulous mid section shine in indian garb while I'm there too.

Tour number 2: Great Southern Getaway [from air conditioning]

I think they should call this tour the Temple of Doom. Elephants, temples, and jungle-- all they're missing in the description are missing sacred stones and of course human sacrifice. I'd opt out of those anyway.

Tour number 3: Sri Lanka + Maldives

(Matt Lauer approved*)

*I connect the Maldives and Matt Lauer in my mind from some Today show I saw in which they sent a couple on a honeymoon to the Maldives and Matt Lauer was like "that place is nice, I've been there."

This is the ultra exotic vacation that pretty much tops any other I can think of. As long as nature doesn't smite us, I think these 10 days would be worth every penny (roughly 220,000 pennies in that price tag).

If you Google Maldives, you'll get photos like this:

Yep, that's pretty much perfect. Somewhere inside that hut is probably a fondue pot full of cheese and an on-call massage therapist. And puppies. On-demand puppies.

There are tons of mission org's and orphanages at which I'd like to help. I'm not sure how that would work out, but hey, I'm adding it. I'd also like to include meeting two of the boys we sponsor who both live in India. Yes they live in totally different cities, but it's on my itinerary!

I also want to go during the Holi festival so I can pelt and get pelted by colored chalk balls.

Thus concludes my fantastic fantasy voyage.

Now I want butter chicken....

6 reasons why I'm a real adult now

2011-02-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

in no particular order, other than the order that they squeaked out of my brain

1. I take my car in to the dealer for scheduled maintenance.
I don't push my car to the nearest gas station and make hand motions charades-style to the "mechanic" and then pray that my credit card has enough space to handle another fix. Nor do I duct tape the repair problems on my own.
Just driving my car (that was built this century) onto a white tile surface feels grown-up and privileged-- even though I have to bum rides like a teenager while it's getting its check-up...I guess getting a rental car for the day would be super-grown-up.

2. I get calls from the school principal's office.
Not for Kid C mind you, and she actually has a real principal, but she's an angel and never gets in trouble.
For Kid R however, I get calls more often than I'd like. Until last week, they were all due to him being sick in someway or another, but now I get behavior calls.
Joy. Parental joy.
I feel like an [unwilling] adult when I take walk-of-shame to pick him up from the school office because of his crunky spaz psycho behavior. I don't think adults are supposed to use those adjectives about children, but I do.

3. I meet with architects.
Yes, really. I'm a co-homeowner (which also gives me loads of real adult points, like beating a "boss" on a Mario level. And that nintendo reference also shows how old I am). I get to make deciscions like "yes, make the fireplace look like this" and use words like "wainscoting" "soffit" and "composite decking." Mind you, I attend these meetings barefoot at my dining table with craft-glitter encrusted on it, but I'm still in the game.

4. I spend more than 50.00 at a time at the grocery store.
If I saw an item, say the sewing machine that I really really want but can't justify buying, that costs 280.00 (although in fairness the Brother costs closer to 400), I wouldn't buy it. I would walk away. But I go to Safeway, buy random stuff to feed, wipe, and clean the anklebiters and I hand over a load of moola. Most of the time I don't even pay attention to the total. Because that's how adult I am. Although the mature thing would be to pay attention to the total and track it, try to reduce it etc. I didn't say I was mature, I said I was adult. Like the kind of adults on Judge Judy, not on CSPAN.

5. Teenagers and college students think I'm ancient.
Tattoos, piercing, blue hair, I've got it all. What I don't have is a birthday in the 1990's. I have old-face and two kids. Ain't no way they're gonna follow me on Twitter (they're too cool for Twitter anyhow) and they're going to accept my friend request on Facebook out of politeness and then probably "hide" my news feed because they don't care how funny my kids are.
I can tell they can't tell the difference between my age and their parents age.

6. I can buy bunnies and motorcycles, but I prudently choose not to.
I never had a window of time in which I was independent enough and not-broke enough to buy a bunny and a motorcycle and enjoy them.
I never had a time in which I had both the cash to buy a motorcycle and have no one care about me enough to tell me not to ride one because I would surely die. (which I agree would happen...because I'm an adult)
And I never had a time in which I could pour all my heart's affection and spare time into a furry adorable rodent. Humans, large and now large-and-small, receive 95% of my love/time, which leaves 4% for Mojito and 1% for anything else living in this house.
Bunnies and motorcycles just don't fit into a real adult lifestyle. I still think they are both fantastic and I'll have to settle for screensaver slideshows or something safe and nerdly to satisfy my respective appetites.

I blurbed

2011-02-02T00:19:00.001-08:00

I had a groupon that was expiring in less than 24 hours so I had to get Blurbing or else $$ would go down the drain.

So I made it, and it took SO much longer than I thought it would take to make a 20 page photobook. My legs are numb I've been laptopping for so long on this one little book.

my flu, deconstructed

2011-01-18T17:03:00.000-08:00

Everyone hates being sick.

(Actually I liked being sick as a kid because I'd rather lay in bed all day than go to school. The only proviso being barfing. Barfing is never cool.)

But being sick, over the age of 18, is extra sucky. Because when you're a grown-up:

-You have to tell people at your work (or college, if I rewind far enough) that you're sick.
I always think that people don't believe I'm really sick.

In fact, I had this one job that I had for 4 years, I was forced to come in, no matter how sick I was (as long as it wasn't intestinal, see above), because my boss would always come in, no matter how sick she was. She even came in when she had pink eye (!), how messed up is that?

All because of the almighty dollar.

And that's the thing, I don't care about the dollar when I'm sick. When I'm sick I go into desperation mode, and think thoughts like: "I can't possibly get out of bed because I'm so miserable, and I'm willing to give up one of my kidneys or shave my head or eat ramen for a whole year to be able to stay in bed."

I won't lie, I've contemplated adult diapers because of the misery of getting out of bed. Never acted on that one, but I'm not above it, if I were sick enough.

But back to the idea of work. I had to take off a week in Dec because of the first time I got the flu, then I had 2 weeks furlough days around Christmas. Then I took of 3 days because of my birthday last week and now it looks like I'm gonna have to be off another week. I can just feel how irritated people are at me. Even if they're not, I feel it anyway.

So out of guilt, I work some from home even though I feel like I have the black plague, which stresses me out, and probably makes my flu last longer.

-The kids totally take advantage of me.

Within 2 hours of returning from school this afternoon, the kids had emptied a bottle of my perfume and hung from the towel rack and promptly broke it.

Yesterday I had to spank Kid R 5 times before 9am.

They are completely merciless. Good thing we don't have stairs, because if I were to fall down them, they would just jump on my lifeless body until dawn.

Kevin would find me dead, surrounded by empty marshmallow bags and nestle morsels ground into the carpet like a chocolate chalk outline.

-The rest of the family gets sick.

If we all got sick at once, that'd be one thing, then we all take the same amount off of work and school and that's it.

But it's a stepped process. My flu started Sunday, and it will probably last until the middle of next week. Kid C got sick today so she'll probably be out of school for a week. And then Kid R and Kevin will follow suit in a few days.

I'll be forced to stay at home with two kids that aren't really sick, but have enough cooties to keep them out of school (!)

(Very rarely does an illness keep them from bouncing off the walls. Kid C had pneumonia last year and the only way I could tell was from her temperature. She was still acting like WWF Smack Down was scouting in our neighborhood.)

-Total breakdown of hygiene and motivation.

Talk about smelly cat! When I have a fever/body aches/chills, the last thing I want to do is get in the shower. Showers and their fluctuating temperatures, *shudder*.

Toothbrushing, is that really necessary when I can barely stand up straight?

My hair looks akin to that of a meth-addict, and my couture is replaced by pajamas. I actually wore my pj's in public to pick up the kids afterschool. Good thing I live in Sockwithsandalsland where the fashion bar is low (just above "rural Alaska.")

Calorie count? Exercise? Right out the window. I'm getting bloated and fatter and achier and smellier by the minute. I feel super gross and my pillow case is a silent dirty witness to it all.

And it's not ending anytime soon! All of this mentioned above will repeat for the next week (or more! no!)

Peril!

auld lang syne

2010-12-30T15:15:00.000-08:00

Customize a digital collage

Happy New Years, peeps!

(p.s. photos by Kimiyo Cordero, thanks!)

psst...I bee blogged

2010-12-29T22:23:00.000-08:00

I just made a big post on the bee-blog.

Check it out.

outdated churches, hide your ficus trees!

2010-12-15T02:25:00.000-08:00

I just finished this re-face proposal for a church in the area.

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT MY WORK

15 mock-ups, a new record for me.

This is my 4th church re-face proposal I've made, so I guess I need to add a tab to my website so I can show the before's and after's.

Speaking of after's, they're not in the Flickr set, but I'll post just one and you'll get the idea of what it looks like right now.

Yep, there it is. So now go back to the Flickr set and go "ahhhh" :)

Just like the other 3 churches, I don't know if they'll actually do what's in the proposal. Here's hopin.'

(it's 2:30am, do you see that on my timestamp? arg.)

I pretended I was Stacy London

2010-12-07T13:14:00.001-08:00

Last night, for 4 hours, Fran, and to some extent Matt E tore down Andrew and rebuilt him.

Andrew is 23. It was time.

It was a pinnacle moment in all of our lives. We even cut his hair in the office copy room. And when it was all done I almost fell over from shock.

Sigh. Fantastic.

Thank you Nordstroms Rack and Burlington Coat Factory. ;)

Christmas Chavez Park

2010-12-05T09:39:00.000-08:00

Kid C had her dance recital last night. She really did great. I mean, I know I'm her mom and I love her. But she was so cute (and her little friend too) it was one of those moments I wanted to bottle up. The closest I got was taking a blurry video with my iPhone while Kid R grabbed at my arm. Here it is:

We walked around the park afterwards.

Who doesn't love a snow machine?

(okay this one is out of order, but this was the finale pile-everyone-onstage thing at the end of the show)

sickness momentous

2010-11-30T07:06:00.001-08:00

This morning I woke up with Pink Eye.

I am fully grossed out by myself.

I've never in my life had it.

And just like all the other bodily maladies that I thought would never affect personally until one day they did, I am, like I said, revolted.

This particular problem is compounded with my flu.

It's taken me getting it to realize I haven't had the real flu for a really really long time. I can't even remember when, but I was probably a kid.

It's day 6 of the flu. With enough caffeine and ibuprofen in the afternoons I can kinda function normally. But night and mornings, I wish there was a socially acceptable way to just knock oneself out. Each day the virus finds new areas to invade. This morning I woke up and (in addtion to my disgusting eye) my ear was throbbing. Novel.

But I wake up each morning and say "you're not throwing up, thank God. Thank God you're not barfing." Also followed by "you don't live in sub saharan Africa, you have a bed, a drug store, and you don't have to walk 15 miles to get water everyday." So I'm thankful for that too.

this morning I made

2010-11-15T07:29:00.000-08:00

I made a couple of CD covers for a friend who played at Echo.

(and who knows if he'll like either one?)

does two camera phone pics a blog post make?

2010-11-11T22:43:00.000-08:00

This morning was crap. I won't get into the minutia, but it involved me being so sick I thought an alien was going to bust out of my gut, which led to oversleeping and not taking people to the airport like they were depending on me to, and not 1, not 2, but 3! areas of dog poop/pee for me to clean up.

And since it was Veterans Day, I had to tell myself "you didn't have to go get blown up in the desert/jungle, so shut up."

Maybe all that led to me overeating Sushi Totoro for lunch? (oh dynamite roll, why did I give in to your advances!)

By the time I picked up the second kid from his school, I was ready to take a drive.

We drove down to the beach and I have never seen a more beautiful afternoon at that beach.

It's usually Oregon-level-windy and cold but today, perfect. The kids were cheerful too- bonus.

I've also stopped caring about whether we return to the car with the same amount of sand toys as we began.

So that helps keep the zen.

(Let them drift away to Crapola Island, what does it matter anymore?)

And I haven't done proper blog honor to our newest family member, Mr. Gerald Pickles, the dog.

He's settling in pretty well. He's still kinda young so he does the annoying chew-anything-chewable routine. My hairbrush is half what it used to be and he almost [wo]manslaughtered me by chewing through a cord and then when I plugged it in, it sparked and could have flambéd me. *grumble*

But-I love him despite the chewing and pooping and barking and jumping. (just like I love my son with all those same qualities)

Mojito is a grumpy old man, comparatively, and he tells Gerald where-to-stick-it on a daily basis.

So with that said, I had to take a pic of this moment. Co-snuggling.

Look at that lummox. Just look at his absurd proportions.

And of course, my little mexi-loaf next to him, like a throw pillow. So cute.

But I will not collect a "Holiday Village!"

2010-11-06T19:14:00.000-07:00

I'm like a real grown-up mom now, I just bought a white tinsel tree and an inflatable decoration for the front yard.

Yes, an inflatable.

Both have perfectly reasonable explanations:

1) The white tinsel tree, I've wanted one for years. And now that the kids come home with apx 95 crafts a week, I predicted that my little 2 ft tree that holds all the popsicle stick sleds and clothespin reindeers isn't going to be able to carry the load that this season will bring. Preschool, Sunday School, Elementary School and Kids Park-- crafttastic explosion(!!)

2) My kids trip out at inflatables. They love them in our neighbors' yards and will stand in the cold for way-too-long to stare at them. So I found one that was somewhat charming and didn't have Santa in it. (I don't think I could stomach a nativity inflatable even if I had found one, though I am pro-nativity in general. So I just went with a cute antarctic animal wearing clothes)

Disneyland is booked

2010-11-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

I just dropped a couple of big fat charges on the credit card:

1) 4 plane tickets to LAX
2) 4 night stay at the Disneyland Hotel (childhood dream) and 4 park hopper passes.

The kids have never been. I haven't been in 10 years. Kevin hasn't been in 15 years.

Now the only problem that remains, Kid R and his recently crazified personality.

Do you think he'll snap out of it by January? If I feed him only sugar free foods for a week and enforce two naps a day, do you think I can avoid a tantrum in the middle of Frontierland?
It kinda gives me an ulcer just thinking about it.

The upside is, Kevin loves downtime to read books, and Kid R will definitely need a nap. That means Kid C and I will live it up in the meantime (!)

Kid C has watched a Netflix documentary about Disneyland and has it all planned out in her mind. I can't tell you how many times she has told me that I must bring the camera to take a pic of her and Tinkerbell.

Now all I have left to do is book dinner at the Blue Bayou for my 30th b-day dinner...

Halloween

2010-10-31T21:20:00.001-07:00

Most adorable father/son pic to date. I mean, look at Kid R's little smile and toes. I can't take the cuteness.

Kid R couldn't let himself be excluded from the girls' photo. And hey, throw in a chi-weenie wearing bells while we're at it, right?

I felt like a complete dork, but I did it for the kids (like the minivan feeling, just for a couple of hours while we trick-o-treated).
We survived.

1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = fine! I'm awake!!

2010-10-23T06:29:00.000-07:00

Preface: I realize that nothing I'm about to complain about is as terrible as having to get up out of bed to tend a baby. I am grateful for that.

4:45am: my genitourinary system decides to process the glass of milk I had at 10pm. My body software is out of date and is still on pre-industrial era scheduling. It thinks I would naturally get up before dawn to thresh the wheat or milk the cows or something.

5:00am: three Cental Standard Time tweets DING on my phone. Apparently Twitter changed it's site and erased my do-not-disturb setting. I think it was a sinister ploy to make me visit their new site.

5:05am: the cat walks on me to go outside. She knew I was up. I have to be nice to her and let her out because a) she has no indoor litter box any more and b) the new dog Gerald tries to eat her.

5:20am: I realize I'm not wearing my retainer (already!) and I have no clue (!) where it could be. This anxiety pretty much sealed my wakeful fate for the morning.

5:30am: the genitourinary and endocrine systems connive together to tell my brain that I am now truly awake so the allergy sequence may begin. Roll tape!-- itchy watery eyes, sneezing and general head misery are in full moldy autumn bloom.

When this kind of thing happens to me, I'm pretty sure it's God waking me up. He's telling me to have what the western Christian world calls a "quiet time" (although that term is such a turn off I'd rather call it morning-Gospel-meditation or something. ) But look what a stubborn donkey I am, I'm blogging instead.

I did pray. But my head was still on the pillow and I'm pretty sure he deducts points for that because I think many would agree that you can only really pay attention to the Holy Spirit when you're not a blink away from REM or thinking about unloading the dishwasher.
(And those super-early-tweets? Those were about God, so I'm gonna count those as 'Word, too.)

Next Saturday, God's probably gonna shift into higher gear. Grumble...

Norway and the Black Hole

2010-09-14T16:14:00.000-07:00

On the 7 minute drive home from work today, Kid C insisted that I explain in great detail both The Scream by Edvard Munch and the Oakland Raiders.

Neither was very easy to explain to a 5 yr old.
It all started when she saw a rendition of the famous painting in colored chalk (the figure sporting a TJ Hawaiian shirt) in an advertisement outside the store by the melons and charcoal briquettes.
I had to wikipedia the meaning of The Scream on my phone to be able to give her his motivation for the painting. (his motivation was "why" number four in the endless chain of "why"s.) Even after I explained all that I could, she still was unsatisfied.

The mystery of the Oakland Raiders started with a decal on a camper shell on a mid 90's domestic truck stopped in front of us at the 280 underpass. "Look a pirate!" and then C noticed that it was wearing a football helmet, and it was downhill from there. What "raids" are and why a football team would want to be associated with stealing and scaring people. Complex topics in the backseat.

working from starbucks

2010-09-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

observations made while working from Starbucks on the posher side of Sockswithsandalsland:

-sitting next to someone who is also working on a laptop, feels alot like sitting next to someone on an airplane. Both persons internally agree to ignore each other in the politest way possible.

-when you sit by the door in an upholstered chair, you immediately get the butt-view of every person that walks in. unsettling.

-there is a limit to how much reggae my brain can process. This might be the most consecutive reggae songs I have ever experienced.

-I can easily see why people make irritated faces at me when I bring my preschoolers in here. I mean, the "mommy tone" one has to use with kids is totally annoying. Oh well.

-the barista did not find me charming when I was on my iphone and didn't realize I was next in line, even though I throughly self-deprecated. She was flatly unamused and I reckon, probably wishing I was a handsome single business man.

-I'm not sure who the appropriate person is to sing along to the song "No Diggity" but I do know that if you're wearing brown office slacks, it's not you.

Let's try this mobile photo blogging

2010-08-08T20:21:00.001-07:00

photo.JPG
Originally uploaded by charlsablaylock

My laptop is often being used for cartoon watching these days. This leaves me with only phone to blog with. Photos are tricky to blog with blogger, but look I found a way! I can't embed them in my real blogpost below, but sectional are better than none at all I s'pose.

This is a pic of Kid C coming off one of the big inflatable water slides at her fantastic preschool.

Wile E. Apirist

2010-08-08T20:14:00.001-07:00

photo.JPG
Originally uploaded by charlsablaylock

This dude drove our bees in his Prius all the way down from Berkeley for us. (see bee explanation way below) And to my delight, he even donned this classic beesuit to transfer them to our sideyard. Bonus! And yeah, his name was Wiley. :)

Pic from the park

2010-08-08T20:08:00.001-07:00

photo.JPG
Originally uploaded by charlsablaylock

Yes, there was clapping and wooing and your token crazy homeless man walking around yelling crazy things. He only stuck around for 1/2 of it (hooray)

Brad in the backseat

2010-08-08T20:05:00.001-07:00

photo.JPG
Originally uploaded by charlsablaylock

I cleaned out all the juice box cartons a pixi dust out of the backseat so we could an accommodate an adult like Brad. He rode along for the evening's festivities.

6 years and the dawn of a new era

2010-08-08T16:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Kevin and I celebrated 6 years of marriage. Hurrah!

We ate dinner at a Chinese food place in Japantown in SF (I know I know, long story) and then we drove over to North Beach to watch Dirty Harry in Washington Park. It was part of the Rolling Roadshow which goes around the US showing movies out on locations where they were filmed. And since the "Scorpio killer" tried twice in the movie to shoot people in Washinton Park, that's where they showed it. I'm glad put anniversary fell on the day it was going on, or else I wouldn't have been able to convince Kevin to go.

We stayed overnight at the Post Hotel/Hostel near Union Square. I thought by clicking "king room" that meant a private bath, but that turns out not to be the case(!) It was a Saturday night in Summer -- I was lucky to find a room at all (not in an hourly Tenderloin motel), so hey. Oh, and it was crazy-old too. Thank heaven for no quakes, that place would have crumbled I'm sure.

This morning we checked out and had crepes place next door (called Honey Honey) surrounded by tourists from all over the world. I thought the cashier would be pleased to find out I spoke perfect English, but turns out she was unimpressed.

Today I realized that Kid C starting kindergarten in a week means that I'm back to the morning structure. I can't make decisions like "will I workout or make waffles or run to a dr appt this morning before work/preschool?" I must be normal again 5 days a week at least until 3pm when I pick them up. And it also means my workouts will be my lunch break instead of in the wee hours and I'm actually joining a gym (a little podunk one.)

Also new to our lives are the bees in our new hive and the fish in our new pond. Going outside is more interesting now. And chickens are coming at some point, probably early next year. We may have found the pond-form in somones trash pile and offloaded the bees off a young granola from Berkley liquidating his stuff for travel money, but chicken hutches are a different matter entirely.

Tonight I made

2010-08-05T21:02:00.000-07:00

Aren't I supposed to be saying no to projects?

Of course I am.

And I almost didn't do this one.

But then, I can't say "no, little burgeoning Christian school, I won't help you make cool t shirts."

I just can't.

So here they are, the boy and the girl version (following the general color parameters I was given)

Two iPhone videos of the kids being funny

2010-07-29T20:57:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zYMqJV9_iQ&feature=youtube_gdata
The kids were trying to figure out who is the stronger of the two. I told them that there was sure way to determine it: arm wrestling! What you don't see demonstrated is Kevin's and my (mine's) test of strength. No contest. No shocker there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK-9exEBzx8&feature=youtube_gdata
Kids hitting their great grandfather with balloons. He asked for it. ;) I took this tonight at the combo Daddy/Grandpa birthday dinner.
I'm again blogging from my phone so I hope these links work.

Remote blogging

2010-06-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

I am sitting under a maple tree at an elementary playground in Mission Viejo, CA. We left a day early from the Flagstaff KOA because I got my dates mixed up and so we had an extra day that we decided to spend with our friend Ryan in the OC.

Because this is already a kind of boring story I'll do bullet points of pros and cons:

-pros-
--Ryan has a guest bedroom with it's own bathroom. And even though he was at a wedding last night he made it so that we could get in. I am SO thankful.
--The kids were so tired last night that they fell asleep concurrently in their sleeping bags on the floor. (never happened ever ever before!)
--We went to the mall today and did build a bear for the first time while Kevin and Ryan watched ESPN in peace.
--We are now at a playground that just happen to have a kindergarten fundraiser with a cover band called "the grateful dads" and an ice cream truck called Screamin Ice Cream and pizza and a classic car show. Lucky us! I love CA.
--it also came stocked with pine cones and dirt that Kid R has been tossing around for about 10 min straight.

-cons
--kids didn't sleep til 10:30 pm. And Kid R woke up at 5:30am. (why?!)
--Kid R has been Grumptastic Tantrum Boy. I've lost count of how many freak-outs he's had today. No one has been spared, babies, toddlers, me, strangers- all felt the wrath of R.
--wow, build a bear is expensive
--Both kids are wearing their sticky ice cream, it resisted even the diaper wipes and who knows when we'll get home tonight.

But it's been a good day overall. Really. Even with the cons. Good ending to our first real "family vacation."...oh there it is getting boring again-- I should end it here!

instead of a college fund, I'm going to make a "bail bond" fund

2010-06-05T17:49:00.000-07:00

Baby R has a serious hitting problem. It drives me crazy. More crazy than the fact that he still poops in his diaper and lies about it.

He can't even hug without hitting.
He's like a puppy that is so cute and wants to play but still bites the hell out of your fingers and ankles.

I've tried spanking back, but that doesn't work. He just wants to hit me back harder.
I've even tried spraying him with water from a spray bottle, like how you train a dog. But that just makes him want to hit harder too.
If only handcuffs weren't frowned upon, they really would be a good solution.

"will it blend?!"

2010-05-29T22:37:00.003-07:00

Tonight I created a little floorplan for that I'd like to add on to our house.
How much this costs, I have no idea. Probably more than we can afford.
But I'm a future-thinker, so I made it anyway.

All I know is that I really love our house, but it has three problems:

1. no guest room
2. no place to work from home
3. tiny living room which is hard for parties

So I propose that we add onto the front and take or entire house out to the garage door line, since we have a big front yard, and the backyard is Kevin's orchard and pretty small to begin with.

I think I did a pretty good job of solving all 3 problems with a 25' x 25' space. Let's see what Kevin thinks...

will it blend?!

2010-05-29T22:37:00.001-07:00

Kids in May

2010-05-13T22:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's become clear that blogging, well quality blogging, just doesn't happen like it used to.

Mostly because the kids eat more food these days.
Explanation: they eat more food, which requires 1) more food prep 2) more kitchen cleaning 3)more visits to the store 4)more food spilled on their clothes = more laundry 5) more food spilled on other things that has to be scrubbed out.
And they don't nap on my time, naps are at preschool

My role to them at this point is punching bag and scullery maid. It was easier to be a biographer to them before consumption skyrocketed.

Kid C is registered for kindergarten in the fall which is exciting, mostly because it's free. I know that's against mommy politics to say that, but boy howdy, am I glad to only have to pay for one preschool tuition and then we can all have afternoons off to go to the zoo or beach again.
4 months away!

I even got the opportunity to design a t shirt for this year's elementary graduation, and in return they're printing some extras in Kid C's and Kid R's size. So when they come to "orientation" they'll be wearin' the cool kid shirts.

However, lately- I have a hard time keeping any clothes on these kids. I'm sure it comes from my side of the family, but is it so much to ask that the children at least have pants on?
Just pants, c'mon.

He snuck out into the backyard earlier today in just his pull-up playing with his trucks in the dirt.

He was using his pinchy-tools to pick up [and probably crush] bugs.

Here, Kid R wins out, at least he has a shirt on. They're both eating their cereal pants-less, just how they prefer it.

Kid R's mullet was gettin' a little long, so we decided he needed a hair cut!
(still no clothes!)

okay, so that wasn't his real mullet, but it was shaggy, so he got a haircut from a kids-salon.
He chose the hot-rod hair-chair. Nice choice.

And this is the video of the hot rod hair cut.

Kid C got her own grooming on Mothers Day with me at the nail salon. She's been looking forward to it for the last 365 days since last Mothers Day when we did the same thing.
All during the year when we would drive by the nail place, she would say "Mom, how long until Mothers Day?"
I have to admit, her nails looked pretty darn good. Flower/rhinestone detail on both fingers and toes. Hopefully that'll last her another year.

We visited the newly renovated Happy Hollow Park a few weeks ago. And think I said before how I wasn't that thrilled with it. I seem to be the only one in that mindset. SF Zoo passes instead, way better IMO. But I did take this pic of Kid R (making a weird face) next to the life-size golden capybara statue-- wearing a pillbox hat and pearls(!!)

I wanted to get that other girl out of the way so I could get a pic of the kids ontop of it. But what I think the artist didn't anticipate about a large metal rodent in the hot sun surrounded by concrete, is that the art doubles as a blazing skillet.

Ah, the McD's playland. Like an old friend that you don't really like, but s/he is so helpful, you keep going back.

Before Kevin and I left for our fabulous Mormon-country adventure, we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese. It was so nice to have Kevin there to "man" Kid R so I could peacefully tail Kid C.

I don't know why I like this pic exactly, but I do.

I didn't manage a pic of the little mister in the monster truck but I did get this unlikely driver as she was struggling out.

let's try this

2010-04-26T13:21:00.000-07:00

The kids' preschool has two new classrooms and asked me if in lieu of my parent/classroom hours, I could do the murals instead.

So this is the mural for the kids music and dance room. The director of the school wanted alot in it, probably more than I even put in it. And since it's multi-cultural in nature, I'm probably offending a group unwittingly. (like, is it unlucky to have a Chinese dragon in the bottom left corner? probably?! )

Taj Majal, giant harp, tamborine, it's got it all. I'm crossing my fingers that there won't be be 100 changes to it. It's just a pencil sketch...

Baby Tuesday on Saturday

2010-04-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

I was away from the kids for 4 days last week, but I still have plenty of pics and videos!

I've been trying to deter the kids from taking baths together lately, but 1/2 the time it still happens. It gets splashier and fightier when they're together.
Kid C said "Mom! look at me!" and lo, it was funny. She climbed into the bath toy basket.

Their friend Kid D had his 5th birthday and here are Kid R and Kid D's little brother, Kid J playing quietly inside while the party happened outside. It was super hero themed, and the best I could do was put Kid R in a Star Wars shirt. Kid J, however, was really prepared-- Buzz Lightyear deluxe costume!

The birthday boy's grandpa and uncle are both police officers, so there was no shortage of toy guns around. I subconsciously don't buy them for Kid R, so he was excited to be at the "gun show."

My friend Mike, Kid D's dad shows Kid R how it's done. And how to tag the kid in the lawn saying "hit me! hit me!"

Mr. Post-Shots Fatigue. He was so lovable, although I was sad he didn't feel good. It only lasted a couple of hours.

Today is splendidly free of places to be and things to do and it's the perfect California weather day, so after Kevin mowed the lawn, I decided to reclaim the Little Tykes playhouses that have been dormant all winter. I evicted all the spiders with my webber and put a carpet down and some other accoutrements.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9osp13IwF4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQJ22CvAMRE

And while I was gone, Kevin took this video of the kids squeeling with the dogs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U0vIHh68PY

And this pic

this year's Easter artwork

2010-04-14T17:38:00.000-07:00

I did this.

My friend Matt was the camera/lighting/editing person. And his edition of the video was the real one that showed during Easter services, but he didn't upload his to YouTube, and I did, so I'm showing the one I edited (I only used one camera's footage, there were 3 cameras total).

Once you have watched the video, click here for the finished artwork.

Baby Tuesday

2010-04-13T13:14:00.001-07:00

Again, a big thanks to Jenn for taking these pics for me. She even had her own 3 kids to keep track of while we did this AND it was COLD out!

I mean seriously, that face.

If he only knew that if he made that face, he would totally get out of trouble.

Kevin makes that face at me alot. It's the you-didn't-think-this-through-face.

Kid C's hair kinda fell apart in the wind. I was trying to go for a sleek look.

yeah, no.

It's her crazy-laugh, but I like it.

I feel like this is a snapshot of him when he's older.

Bellisima, bambina.

So, you've seen this one, but hey.

The boy loves pipes.

After the park became problematic, we moved the photo shoot into the newly redesigned (ahem) lobby at WestGate. I mean, what good is working at a church if you can't just come in any time with your kids and take pics in the good lighting?

Auntie Dianne bought him that hat. I bought the jeans, shirt and tie at H&M and the shoes...well those are WalMart.

Her dress is H&M too. I love that store. Euro couture at Target prices.

Way behind them (not the motel looking building) is the in-progress new children's building, fyi.

Artful dodger.

A big thanks to Jon Talbert who made my kids do all the funny poses. I'm glad he was there, us moms weren't very motivational.

This photo represents how easily entertained she is. I love her.

sticky melty cuteness.

I don't know if Jenn took this on accident or on purpose, but I liked it.

You can still see his R2D2 tattoo that he wouldn't let me wash off(!)

Does anyone recognize that look in Kid R's eyes?

It's the "I WANT TO BITE YOU" look.

And he did. He definitely did.

okay just one!

2010-04-11T11:25:00.000-07:00

Baby Tuesday on Sunday

2010-04-11T10:11:00.001-07:00

I thought now that Easter is over, that I would have got Baby Tuesday up actually on Tuesday.

Not the case.

But luckily, I have these cute pics of Gilroy Gardens to show everyone!

Gil the Garlic epitomizes the charm of Gilroy Gardens. How funny is it that they make an entire theme park around the idea of produce?! Adorable.

And you should notice that Gil is short, like it's not a regular adult in that suit. It's either a kid or a person-of-short-stature -- either way, also adorable.

I was so glad that the kids went over and stood by him for a picture.

Their friends wanted nothing to do with the giant garlic man, and I can see their point.

This is Kid C and her BFF Kid A. Thanks to my friend, Jenn, Kid A's mom, we got into the park FOR FREE! Her mom and dad live in Gilroy and it was free-locals day, so we got in with them, and then they hit the road, ha. Huge thanks to them. The admission price to the agro-wonderland is steep, so I can't say thanks enough for that.

They have here, the biggest soft serve ice cream cones that I have ever seen, especially for a couple of Pre-K's.

Jenn took this pic of her one the flower boats. We had a nice view of the Artichoke Dip ride, which we rode afterward.

We had some snacky snacks and then the kids examined the map on the [probably filthy] floor to plan our route.

Train ride! I really wanted them to have seatbelts on this one.

Because I could see a hospital visit in my future: mixing a 3 yr old's excitement for trains and an actual train ride.

The little sir with his gigantic ice cream. Yeah, he didn't finish it. And he needed a entire wardrobe change afterwards. (does anyone else's 3 yr old try eating the cone part before he eats the ice cream on top? omg.)

He looks kinda older here doesn't he?

Balloon ride! Me and Kid R were in our own balloon and Jenn and girl-Kid-R were in their own. We let the big girls fly solo. That's the advantage to girls, they can be trusted not to leap out(!)

The goldfish [cracker] ride. Little kid rides that I don't have to get on with them, my favorites.

I have some really cute easter pics, but I'll save those for next B.T. They are excellent!...

Baby Tuesday on Thursday

2010-04-01T23:40:00.003-07:00

**UPDATE** I'm saved! Jenn posted for me! Check it out

I still have 20 minutes of Thursday left, and I'm running on fumes, but if I don't do this now, it aint' happenin' this week.

Um and this will be the only pic this week. I'm simply just not going to get up and get the camera cord.

The kids have today and tomorrow off, which I didn't quite figure out until yesterday evening. Not the school's fault, totally my brain's fault.

Anyway, they went to their favorite hourly kid care this morning and I scrambled at work to cram as much "doing" at work as I could before I had to go get them. I know I shouldn't leave Kid R there when it's naptime, bad things happen.

In fact, I was late because of aforementioned scrambling and cramming, and when I arrived, Kid R had a fresh rugburn on his temple from some incident. Fatigue related, no doubt!

There was a need for driving to the shore this afternoon. Very real need. So we went, and they happily watched Oswald episodes on my iPhone in the backseat, and I drank in the mountains on the way over.

We stopped at the wharf. I got a mocha (which is how I am still awake right now) and the kids got ice cream from Marini's and hung around. Seagulls, check. Pigeons, check. Sealions, check.

(this was the one bench that wasn't windy or covered in seagull poop, score!)

Anecdote about sealions: Kid C and R really don't make stuff up. I think they do all the time, and then it ends up, they were telling the truth, I just didn't believe/understand them.

(Like the time that I lost the lid to the apple cider jug at the farmers market and Kid R said it was in his sippy cup. I said "no it's not" and then when I opened it up an hour later in the car, there it was, the lid to the cider inside the cup.)

That kind of thing happens all the time, and I kinda feel bad about it.

This afternoon as we drove on the wharf, I rolled down the windows and told the kids to hush and listen for sealions barking. They barely could stop talking for 2 seconds and then Kid C said "I heard one!" and I said "no you didn't that was just some lady laughing as we drove by her" and she insisted she had heard one. I didn't hear anything so I told them not to get their hopes up, and then parked the car down-a-ways.

And then, it turned out-- she was right. We came across 4 sealions that weren't in the usual perch. Barking. Then, I had to apologize.

-I gotta hit "publish" now before it's tomorrow in one minute!...

Baby Tuesday on Wednesday

2010-03-24T09:21:00.001-07:00

Yeah I totally skipped last week. I was planning on doing it, and then things fell apart, so there's a blip in the baby matrix. I had thought that I would dedicate this week's BT to my dad, but it's still kinda hard seeing photos of him right now, so I'll wait on that.

I foolishly took the kids out to dinner a couple of weeks ago with some of our friends, but without Kevin. Kid C was fine, as usual, but Kid R was a FREAK! I had completely forgotten that he didn't take a nap that day.

Both my kids really like Kid K. Really really like her. They insisted on flanking her while she ate, and totally bumped out the other little girl.

Kid E, to the right of Kid C was a sweetheart about the whole thing. Her mom insists that she has a rotten side, but I've never seen it. She's a little angel in my book.

I dug up some of my phone pics from the fairy party. This was on the treasure hunt. Kid C was super motivated and made off like a bandit.

Fairy picnic.

Kid R pulls this coming-out-after-bedtime deal every few days. And he knows if it's just me in the living room, and he makes a really cute face and quietly plays with his toys, he can stay up.

He gets greedy eventually and begs to watch cartoons and that gets him sent back to bed, fer' sure. I took this pic when I was too tired to do anything about him, and he sat and watched TV with me.

I persuaded my "dink" friends to come with me to the farmers market with me and my loose cannons-- well just one loose cannon, the boy. They were good sports, and I'm sure the entire experience was yet another reason they will reference whenever the subject of "should we have kids?" comes up.

The farmers market also sells seafood, who knew?

If I hadn't had them with me, I would have considered buying a crab, but since it was hard enough just to buy and carry around the strawberries with them with me, I let remain a sideshow attraction.

I bet Matt said something scary to them about the crabs and probably gave 'em bad dreams (jk).

Then we tagged along on an errand Kristen had in Los Gatos and we hit Powells Sweet Shop.

Lindsey gave Kid R this dinosaur painting kit for his birthday and he was so excited about it. He kept waking up at night asking if he could paint dinosaurs (before we let him open it) so I was glad when he finally got it out of his system.

We have a serious dandelion invasion in our yard. If I didn't consider anyone else's opinion, I actually like dandelions, they're cute flowers and they make those fun fuzzy parachutes.

Kid C, pictured here with them obviously agrees.

But I feel pressure as a suburban home owner that we shouldn't have dandelions, because it implies that we're sloppy. Which we totally are.

So we reward the kids for picking them.

And Franklin isn't really our kid, but he kinda is. And he does funny stuff like this:

my inflammatory opinion for the day

2010-03-22T18:31:00.000-07:00

Calling a Christian "religious" is like calling a handicapped person "retarded."

Baby Tuesday on Saturday

2010-03-13T06:54:00.000-08:00

One pic and one video this week.

I didn't get any decent pics at the fairy birthday party Kid C attended last weekend, but of course the birthday girl's mom did and she blogs, so she did all the work for me.

Kid R got his mega tool set from GiGi for his birthday and he goes around "fixing" everything. Especially the table and chairs. I'm cool with wooden things being "fixed," just as long as he doesn't want to repair my laptop (!)

Oh no, gross, I zoomed in on this pic, and his face is all crusty from whatever he ate before I took the photo. Eewww!

I finally loaded the Valentines Day party that the kids had with their friends onto YouTube:

Baby Tuesday on Thursday

2010-03-04T09:56:00.000-08:00

This installment brought to you by Ponyo (the kids are entranced in the other room). It also allowed me to get some last tax documents in order.

Kid R's birthday was actually on Monday, but we had the party on Tuesday in the middle of the day and I let the kids skip school that day and I took off of work.

My favorite pic of him.

I took it right after I put his birthday shirt on him.

Look at that face. So loveable. --Even though he tried to take his cake apart, his pinata apart, and opened up TWO of his gifts when I had my back turned! (he snuck them back into Kid C's room and they conspired against me!)

Post gift opening chaos. All the little boys were busy with his new trucks and showing him how they work.

Overwhelmed? That's a crazy expression.

Evaluating...

Of course his sister wanted to be all up in his business and "helping" with the gifts.

I needed a fly swatter to keep her back.

Me.

Here are some videos of him opening gifts. Kinda funny.

This is him meddling in the gifts. Much meddling.

Here's Kid R's BFF from school Kid T. And Kid C was his cake-lunch date at the counter.

Here is his fancy Umi Zoomi cake and corresponding cupcakes made by Rachael.

At the end of the party all the kids lined themselves up on the couch to watch Nick Jr. So cute.

And Mojito was there to catch every crumb.

Grandma made a big chocolate cherry cake for him the night before. needless to say, he's had his cake quota for the month.

Thanks Nonnie and Gramps (his great grandmother and grandfather) for the trucks!

Presents!

On Monday night we gave him all his family's gifts, Kevin's parents, my family's and the ones from Kevin and me.

And here he is opening my mom's gift to him.

He LOVES it. Really really really loves it.

Baby Tuesday on Thursday

2010-02-25T07:23:00.001-08:00

Less than a week until Baby R's birthday. I can feel the buzz in the air, almost like Christmas.
I must admit, that it's much nicer planning his birthday.

He's so simple. He wants his friends over, and he wants cake, and he wants presents.

He doesn't care about a theme.

And when we went to his friend's birthday party last week at Chuck E. Cheese, he didn't ask for the same treatment. Even when Cricket pestered him, and *told him* to want his birthday there, he was indifferent about it.

Here's the soon-to-be-3 yr old playing middle-east-kidnap (j/k) with Stephanie's headband.

We went to a park one morning and Kid C got it into her head that she was going to have a picnic at the park. So she got a plastic bag and loaded it up with items and got a marker and wrote her name on it and set it by the door, all on her own.
She made SURE that I picked up the bag and brought it with us.
When we got to the park , she got her bag and opened it up and brought out this blanket and a pair of slippers. She asked me to help her spread it out and she sat on it, took off her shoes and put on her slippers and began eating her snacks.
Gentile.

Here in Sockswithsandalsland, there aren't many gimmicky chain restaurants. Being from Dallas, I love gimmicky restaurants, and I seek them out whenever possible (like the just put in a Wing Stop, holla!).
Armadillo Willy's tries to pawn itself off as "Real Texas BBQ."
Now, I know what TX BBQ tastes like, and it is not even close. Seriously.
But, they have a great "look" and they're nearby and I like them anyway. The way I might like a place in China for trying to serve me a cheeseburger and french fries, even if they smell a bit like fish sauce and bok choy.
I took these photos the last time we were there as a family, and the kids scarfed down their corndogs like they hadn't eaten for days.

...the boy is up...I gotta go tend...

nope, not hip

2010-02-22T08:15:00.000-08:00

The Chicago Auto Show unveiled the "Honda Odyssey Concept" as a cooler looking minivan...

Uh, no. It's still a minivan. It will still make your butt look bigger just for driving it. And it will still make you too embarrassed to valet park it.

And "concept cars" are supposed to really be amazing and unattainable. This is neither.

4th generation Odyssey= FAIL.

Baby Tuesday

2010-02-16T08:15:00.000-08:00

Alright, getting a jump on this week's BT.

Baby R is in the living room watching Diego, and Kevin and Kid C are still asleep in bed.

I'm coming down with a cold, but Baby R has made a full recovery, thank goodness.

And best of all, I didn't have to take him to a doctor and mess with all that weekend/holiday, on call stuff.

Normally, I try not to take both kids to the store. And my instinct is to say "no" to these types of carts, but I did it anyway.

He lasted about 2 aisles before he leaped out and started touching everything. Kid C was happy to watch Oswald on my iPhone the whole time in the "car."

Btw, I love Oswald. Not like how I love Charlie and Lola. Because I would watch Charlie and Lola even if I didn't have kids. But Oswald is super mellow but not teletubbie mellow. It's like reading a bedtime story. No rambunctious songs, no whining, no yelling, any conflict is calm and collected. I highly recommend downloading the whole season like I did on iTunes. It's worth it.

The kids got their first real haircuts the other day. I didn't go to a kid cut place because I thought Kid C would have more fun thinking she was doing something "grown-up." This place is near our house, and I could tell that the lady wasn't too pleased about me showing up unannounced on a Saturday with two kid haircut requests. I'm pretty sure she charged me the adult cut price for both of them, so I guess she got back at me that way.

Anyway, Baby R was so adorable I couldn't stand it.

Baby R took this pic with my phone. He also took pics of my knee, his shoe and the magazines, but I left those out.

We originally bought a pack of Valentines tattoos to send to Cousin S, but then Kid C wanted a pack too, so we got double.

The funniest thing is that they wanted ALL of them at once, and ALL of them on their arms. The kids got tattoo sleeves before I did! ;)

This was right before bathtime, that's why his diaper is half off.

This is video of him and his salon visit.

Baby Tuesday on Thursday

2010-02-11T21:45:00.000-08:00

Baby R just barfed.

Barfed all over our bed, 4 layers of our bedding, himself and worst of all his blankie.

It pretty much happens that everytime he's sick and barfs, he barfs on his blankie which means that it has to go in the washing machine and that he can't have it for about 2 hours. And then that means it's nearly impossible for him to rest/sleep for those 2 hours.

Right now I have Bob the Builder on the portable DVD player (thank you again, Sam) in his room-- oh I just heard him come out of his room. I think he's come back in our room so that he can barf on our second set of bedding...

...okay after about 10 min of him sitting on my lap on the floor over some towels crying about how much his stomach hurts he went back in his room and is now pitifully saying "mommy" and crying.

Last night at our small group we talked about being joyous in bad times and someone shared a story about this guy they knew in Rwanda who spent 3 hours at a "dentist" which he used a chisel to get his abscessed tooth out of his mouth. And how he came to church that evening praising God because they got the tooth out and that his gums can heal now that it's "fixed" and not complaining at all, he was joyous.

Clearly I suck at doing that kind of thing, joyous in bad. I am glad that Baby R doesn't have a chronic disease, but I'm not happy that he won't be able to go to school tomorrow and I won't be able to go to MOPS.

I'm gonna go try to lay in bed with him (while he cries" I want my blankie!!")...

I can't tell if I hate it or not

2010-02-09T17:13:00.000-08:00

cross my fingers and say a prayer

2010-02-05T00:24:00.000-08:00

Another church in the area is kinda overhauling their stuff, how they run things and what they do, etc.

I was asked to draw up some plans on how to polish their look. It's kind of a dream of mine to be able to take a church that hasn't changed at all in 30 years and make it look hip and help bring young people in. There is a rough $5K budget for it, so keep that in mind, I can't totally buy all new stuff or make major architectural changes.

The downside is that it's pro bono and I'm up past midnight working on it. I know there's tons more to do on it. There's a gym and sunday school rooms, and a lounge area-- but I think if they actually follow my guidelines, then I will devote more time to it and do the rest. We'll see if they'll gonna give up those silk plants and 70's furniture, in favor of lamps and ebony stain...

These are pics of how it currently looks:

And here are my design proposals:

Baby Tuesday on Wednesday

2010-02-03T08:57:00.001-08:00

The kids are wild injun's right now so again, I'll have to keep my photo quips brief. Baby R is surely flooding the hall bathroom with water from the sink. I can hear running it and him talking to himself. He's also naked from the waist down and everytime Kid C yells "MOM!" he yells back at her "DOM!"

My friend Shari generously gave Baby R her son's Lightning McQueen costume and he loves it, of course. He in particular likes to wear it while watching the movie Cars and also while the song Life is a Highway is playing (see video below).

But the funniest thing about the costume is when he falls over and can't get back up like a turtle.

Kick kick kick, flail flail!

I finally got them dancing on video!

I tried so hard to get a pic of both of them fresh from the bath wearing their new bathrobes. A certain person wouldn't pose.

But a few hardboiled eggs got them to slow down.

Kid C is showing that her yolk is shaped like a heart.

Nothing is more exciting than hardboiled eggs, the feeling is just electric.

addendum to Baby Tue

2010-01-28T20:09:00.000-08:00

I would like to report that tonight while Kevin was flying home from his business trip, BOTH children threw the most insane code-red tantrums over the following 3 things:

1. improper position of their *2nd piece* of chocolate cake on their plates.
2. Who got to hold the Bible.
3. Which things to be thankful for in their evening prayers.

Seriously. Cake, Bible, and praying- tantrums. 3 separate tantrums.

To top it off, they each put their own signature on the evening.
Baby R chose to [after 10 min of freaking out and making demands while I held his bedroom door closed] pray a sweet little prayer about how thankful he was that we had a nice day.
Kid C on the other hand, took the low road, and pooped in her night-time-pull-up and then proceeded to get poop all over herself, her carpet, the bathroom floor, rug, handtowel, and shower curtain.

She's now in the bathtub, when she's supposed to be sleeping.

Baby Tuesday on Thursday

2010-01-28T10:54:00.001-08:00

I've spent the last week trying to get their funny behavior on video. However, once they spot me with the camera they stop talking and/or dancing.
They (BOTH) have started doing little dance parties when I play Party in the USA or I Like to Move it Move it or even Single Ladies. It's so so so cute.

So this is all I have...

These are from last night.

Look how he is eating his taco! upside down.

We had a little Taco Bell before church.
I made myself feel better about them eating Taco Bell since I gave themV-8 fusion juice in their sippy cups. That makes up for it, right?

I just took these a few minutes ago. They wanted to cut stuff and cut they did.
Now he's roaming around trying to bug Kid C while she's doing her preschool homework.

Yes, literally preschool homework. It's more work for me than her, and hence I'm slightly annoyed about it. She likes it, so oh well.

She will wear this skirt every moment of every day if I let her. I told her she could wear it every other day, and I think that's socially acceptable, right?

I mean, it's better than Baby R not wanting to ever wear clothes or change clothes or change/wear his diaper.
He tells me about his time-outs at school because he hit some other boyor pushed some other boy. I can only flare my nostrils and hope that the teachers are frightening enough to make him stop, but maybe I'm expecting too much from a 2 yr old. 6 straight hours with 20+ other kids, I guess he's bound to want to beat one of them, right? Heh.

shopping drivel

2010-01-24T23:16:00.000-08:00

-Never before in my life have I had 3 gift cards in my possession and not been able to find something I want to buy with them. I keep wanting to use them to buy stuff for other people, but then I know that the people who gave them to me don't want me to do that, so I'm back to not finding anything for me.

I really wanted to use my Old Navy card to buy some "tall" stuff from the website, only to find out that everyone else who shops on the O.N. site is also a medium-tall. (extra-small-tall, who are you people?! you cannot be human, because that is weird and wrong!)

-I have completely been unable to find a snow-jacket that I like [as much as my friend Jenn's that I borrowed for Tahoe.] Granted I'm not willing to spend very much on one, but c'mon even eBay doesn't have anything remotely cool. I don't want to look like I own a maple syrup farm, but I don't want to pay to look like I actually know how to snowboard. I've been looking on Amazon, because that's where my card is for, but it's alot of Lands End and Baby Phat. Nein danke!

-I haven't lost *that* much weight but about half of my clothes don't fit the way they used to, and I should buy stuff to replace those (with my gift cards). And I have one from Urban Outfitters, however I just can't get on board with the clothes there.

Does this mean that I'm old!?

Truthfully, I usually just buy their housewares, always have. In the past I would think "it would be cool to wear that" as I pass by the clothes section.

But this "season" I think to myself "do they want us to look ugly?"

I mean where do I wear a shoulder-padded tube top? Or a jumper with a belt and fishnets?

It's like the Great Gatsby is being performed in Studio 54. Que terrible.

Until further notice I shall continue on in my hand-me-downs from friends and Goodwill and my Ross "scores," and wait for new "collections."

Baby Tuesday on Thursday

2010-01-21T07:54:00.001-08:00

Hey two days late, and only 3 pics and a video, just my style, right? Miraculously Baby R has stayed in his room until now, 8am. This, breaking his record of like a month straight of <6am awakenings. I hear him back there, but he doesn't know I'm out here in the living room so I'm typing as fast as I can.

I have a few pics from a playdate birthday party last week.
And btw, the playdate birthday party is the most genius thing. I am so inspired, I'm gonna do it for Baby R's 3rd birthday that's comin' round the bend in 6 weeks. I'll probably just have them skip school that day, and we'll just party down on a Tuesday. And a big "you're welcome" to all of those dads that don't want to be dragged to a party on a Saturday afternoon!

How cute are they all, just sitting there waiting for the pinata?

Kid C's turn..

No dice. But, hey how about that dress?
She tries to wear it for just about any occasion, including just going over to see her friends.
I mean it is a "little black dress" but c'mon.

Big man. He actually had to be lifted by the birthday girl's mom in order to be able to reach the little pull strings.

(this video is after the candy all falls out and the looting begins)

Baby Tuesday on Wednesday

2010-01-13T21:36:00.001-08:00

Don't you hate it when you're super busy, for days on end, and you tell yourself "it's just this week, after this week, it'll slow down and I can think about other things like finding out where that smell is coming from in the kitchen, and where all my socks have gone to and eating vegetables."

But then the next week rolls around and there again is another set of obstacles and knots to be untangled and it's the same empty promises to yourself.

Anyone else do that?

[[I've already planned out my next moment of solace: It's a combination Valentines/Finishing-the-half-marathon celebration. It'll be on the 2/12 at the Cliff House, somewhere I have dreamed of going but always forget about when I plan a dinner night in the city. Yes, it's "$$$$" kind of place, so I'm already anticipating being tacky and splitting the cheapest item on the menu(!) ]]

What does all of this have to do with the kids? It sums up why I don't have alot of photos.

Because I'm harried.

This is not to say that Tahoe wasn't totally great and relaxing and I'm super thankful to Kevin's mom and dad for taking care of the wee ones while we were away.

But Monday morning, -bam-, back in action. Baby R had a meltdown at school when I dropped him off. Then Tuesday Kid C had a meltdown in the exact same fashion. Killin' me.

And this week I've had a ton of work from all directions that doesn't fit into 20 hours. *nostril flare*

So I'm posting some pics that I've taken in the recent past that haven't made it to the blog, mostly because they were taken with my iPhone.

Kid C was taking a bath and the tub got really full without me paying attention to how high the water was. I noticed that it was high enough to turn the spa jets on and she took me up on the offer...

...Little did I know that when you mix bath confetti and spa jets do you get SUPER BUBBLES!

Baby R didn't want to have anyting to do with the tub until he saw the Matterhorn of bubbles that she was frolicking in. Then he couldn't get his clothes off fast enough.

soap one piece

Those spaces of water are the jets creating even more bubbles.

It's a good life for a four year old.

We actually went to a real restaurant with a real waiter, all four of us.

The kids were really good. I feel that the worst of our eatery-disasters are behind us.

The fact that it was breakfast, not dinner, helped too.

I thought Baby R and Kevin were so cute together I took some pics.

I think he kept asking for bites of sausage.

He's so adorable.

I posted some pics on FB

2010-01-11T22:17:00.001-08:00

Click to see the little album

Baby Tuesday on Wednesday

2010-01-06T08:19:00.000-08:00

This week is the first week of preschool for C & R! It's great. I feel like I'm doing what the rest of the world does, those who have kids.
I get up, I work out, I feed them breakfast, I make their lunches, I get them dressed and make sure they have their jackets and I take them to school.
And then I go to work and I don't have to stress about who is going to watch them.
When I pick them up from school and come home, all I have to do is make dinner and put them in bed.

It's nice.

Now, the laundry getting done and the dishes getting done, I'm not sure yet where to put that in my schedule. Normally that would go in the hours before the kids get up, but that's my workout time, so I'll just have to keep thinking on that.

Speaking of early hours, the young master R has been getting up super early since he knows he can get out of his room. He has now mastered both kinds of door knob guards, so he can pretty much roam freely.
One morning I tried taking him on my run and it didn't work. He was good, but a fixed wheel jogging (double, yet single occupant) stroller is a joke if you're really jogging.
I took this video this morning, right after I finished my (somewhat depressing) yoga session in the living room. He's super cute in the morning so I can't bring myself to tell him to go back to bed when I'm already up.
(When I'm still in bed, I have no problem telling him to go back to bed!)

I don't think I ever posted these pics of the gingerbread house construction...

I think you can tell from his face that he heavily sampled from the raw materials of the house.

Dubious.

Sprinkles. They occupy their very own section of this family's food pyramid.

This was the second year we've made a gingerbread house as a family, but the first time we've ever made one from scratch. It was an intense assembly for Kevin. Especially since I wasn't really helping him. But I did provide cookies for the kids to decorate to keep them busy.
Here's the video of me not really helping:

Sprinkles for the cookies, sprinkles for my mouth.
Sprinkles for the cookies, sprinkles for my mouth.
And more for my mouth...what cookies?

These are the "outtakes" from the Christmas Card photo shoot.

it's like a fragrance ad, no?

Is it a hug? Or is he trying to push her over?

The noble tot.

I think she said something about this being a "princess" pose.

There would be no looking at me. No matter how much I begged.

I should have brought bribery candy.

This is what consumed much of our time out on the bay-- rock hunting.

Here he is ready for his first day of preschool, the little sweetheart.
I bought him that fancy lunch pack, and it has little reusable bento-type boxes on the inside.
(I happened to have accidentally left it in his classroom tonight, oopsie.)

He didn't want me to take his picture, and he refused to look at me.

blurry, but you can see his little evil-knivel backpack.

I didn't ever post this here

2010-01-02T06:27:00.000-08:00

I helped make this video for our Christmas Eve service at WG.

This isn't the final version that we showed, but I didn't want to upload the perfectly edited one, since I had already uploaded this one (for final review before I loaded it). But it's almost identical.

Baby Tuesday on Thursday

2009-12-31T22:01:00.000-08:00

2 hours before 2010, no less!

Santa brought her this Hello Kitty robe for Christmas. She thought it was great, but she didn't really want to wear it (to my disappointment).
After her last bath, I convinced her to put it on and then I also pleaded with her to let me put the towel on her head. She was so cute, I would have let her go to the grocery store like that.

Baby R also got a robe from Santa, but no bribe is big enough for him to wear it. It has little Jolly Rogers on it too, but he won't give in.

Check out this guy right here.
Baby S is watching him chug his chocolate milk like he's at a toddler frat party.
(He's shirtless after going through 2 shirts already, and getting both wet at our New Years Party tonight.)

For GiGi

2009-12-25T10:51:00.000-08:00

(hope this makes you feel better about your frozen clutch)

Christmas Card for Baby Wednesday

2009-12-23T22:19:00.001-08:00

Make a Smilebox collage

Baby Tuesday on Saturday

2009-12-19T12:09:00.000-08:00

Yes, this might be the latest Baby Tues I have ever done. If you could see live footage of what's going on around me right now, you would understand completely.

It's so insane in this house.

Anyway- here's just a morsel until next week...

These are from the TX trip

Here's Mrs. Claus, looking an awful lot like every elementary school teacher I ever had. Mrs. Rankin? Is that you?! ;)

Btw, speaking of that I named off every elementary school teacher K-6 to my friend Fran the other day, and I was proud of myself, so I shall do it again, but this time with an interesting fact about each:

K, Mrs. Rankin -never seemed to really like us, and made us spell Dinosaur, which I thought was torture

1, Mrs. Shirley, -looked exactly like Vincent Price, and I watched enough TV by that time that I knew exactly who he was and thought that.

2, Mrs. Bennett, -very very thin, and kinda old. Definitely a smoker.

3, Mrs. Sparkman, I've talked about her before, she was the strangest of all, ashes on her forehead on Ash Wednesday

4, Mrs. Lolindger, very young, huge boobs, her husband looked like like he liked the Grateful Dead and "herbs."

5, Mrs. Miller, was single, and had a big crush on Kevin Costner

6, Mrs. Ingalls, her husband was a cartoonist and made all her classroom posters.

Outside the "Teddy Bear Hospital"

"Reindeer House"

Here she is with Santa. Shmoopie.

The cousins are watching baby Brooke sit on Santa's lap. That didn't go over too well.

Aurora makes fun of me that I turn my flash off alot, but look at all the pretty lights!

Sparkley.

I tried to take her picture in front of this fountain but she was too consumed with Santa's house, so we moved on.

today I made

2009-12-16T19:51:00.000-08:00

This flag was a special request from my high school friend Jason who's serving in the Army over in Afghanistan right now.
I think it's a Star Wars flag? Something like that? I'm not sure, but apparently this is what it's supposed to look like, kinda. I have no idea if it'll fly, the fabric is slightly heavy, and my sewing leaves alot to be desired. But I dunno if he actually wants to fly it or not.

I mailed it today and I think it's probably not gonna get there in time for Christmas. And the peanut butter cups that went with it, I hope they don't get mangled on the way.

redlining

2009-12-10T20:45:00.001-08:00

Currently I have 106 work emails.
Most of those emails have "action items" in them.

I only have 4 hours to work tomorrow.

Tonight alone I have to create a video, make cookies, make more food for tomorrow's meeting.
And then tomorrow I have to do a ton of work and prepare for a baby shower at my house.

The groceries [non-refrigerated ones] are still in bags on the kitchen floor. I have used up almost all of my clean underwear, the laundry is off-the-hook, and so are the dishes.

I don't even want to think about the stuff I need to sew and get mailed off.

And did I mention the 106 emails?!

:O !

I think I smell smoke coming from my brain.

Baby Tuesday on Thursday

2009-12-10T07:40:00.000-08:00

I left my purse at a restaurant last night-- fear not, they have it and I'm gonna pick it up tomorrow.

However, the camera was in it. So I can only use my iPhone and Aurora's pics for Baby Tuesday. Sorry 'bout that.

We all headed over to Santa's Village on Sunday night to check it out, and of course, see Santa. After visiting Christmas in the Park for 3 years in a row, I can confidently say that Santa's Village was WAY better. Because you can actually go inside the little houses in SV, and CITP, you have to stand behind a gate and look at the houses. Plus, CITP is more commercial feeling.

(GiGi without a hat, had to wear a scarf on her head!)

Anyway, it was really fun, even though it was cold and wet out. My mom scored a place in line for us to wait for Santa.
Side note: I had more or less decided that I wouldn't take the kids to see "Santa" because I remember that I was freaked out by him when I was a kid and it seemed like a weird concept. I wasn't really against the idea, I just never thought that I would take the time to try it with C and R.
I interviewed Kid C before the big guy arrived:

She really had no idea what she was going to ask for but she was psyched up for the experience nonetheless.
We let the babies with us go first, then Kid S told Santa exactly what she wanted, which was hilarious.
Then Kid C got up there, with the demeanor of someone who was in the presence of a celebrity, just awestruck and mute. She froze up like Ralphie from Christmas Story and didn't come up with something to tell him.

She was happy though.
She was wearing Kid S's clothes from head to toe, that also made her happy.

And Santa had a Texas accent. That might have been my favorite part of all.

(this was the Reindeer barn)

I took a bunch more photos, but I'll have to post them next week. She met Mrs. Claus, some real firemen, and her and Kid S's highlight-- the Snow Princess. I mean, wow, they almost bowed in reverence. I can't wait to show you those photos.

We were there for Kid S's big birthday celebration. And from then on, the girls didn't want to be out of each other's sight. Even if they were fighting like Desperate Housewives, they still needed to be together.

NorthPark Mall looking at the ducks and turtles.

More Mall.

This is right when Kid C arrived and surprised Kid S at her party!
Kid C still has major static-head from the plane.

Aurora took this one, and this is such a perfect shot.
Smarmy. There's my Mini Me, right there.

And I wasn't with the little Mr. Baby R for most of the last week, but yesterday we hunted down some snow on the "east hills." Success! It sucked that the real snowy hills were guarded by barbed wire. I considered tossing them over, but then thought better of it. I did put the blanket over the barbs just in case they ran into the fence.

It looks meager on this side of the fence, but it was enough that they could play with it.

"cold!!"

Look at him. omg, he's cute.

(wheels are turning)

The classic I'm-taking-my-own-pic pic.
There, I was there, and I reached the snow.
Take that, CHP!

When there's no nap, and no gloves, the snow trip soon turns grumpy.

Baby Tuesday on Thursday

2009-12-03T15:47:00.000-08:00

Why is all my text underlined? I have no idea.

Anyway- we cut our tree down from Crest Ranch on Saturday. They were slightly more grumpy than I would have preferred, but next year I'll remember to do the hot chocolate *before* the tree cutting, as to help them be in a perky mood.

Grump grump grump grump.

Finally she cheered up. She liked guarding the tree once we found one that we all agreed on.
She said "just like we had to guard our fridgerator!" [at the Sears outlet.] haha

Grump grump grump grump grump.

I had to bribe her with candy to wear that coat. I bought it from a garage sale, it's a vintage all wool coat from England. She hates it. If it had Cinderella on it, she'd wear it. But it has no commercial affiliations so she doesn't like it.
(I had to tell her some princess tennis shoes were tacky the other day at the store. And I might have said, "they make ugly shoes and then put princesses on them so people will buy them, don't fall for it." Maybe I said too much? Baby R had just dropped my iPhone on the ground, I was pushed to the limit.

Baby R and the tree carrying cart. We didn't really need it since we buy squat trees but hey.

Hoods on, both looking forward. Thank goodness, we got the pic.

Grump grump grump grump grump grump.

Love this shot! The joy was sporadic.

We bought an "Arizona Cypress" this year, which is a kind of seafoam green color. It's pretty cool, but I had to buy a different color scheme of ornaments to go on it.
Target trip!
I told Kid C she could pick out one ornament (in the correct color scheme of course!) and instead she found a 6 pack of princess ornaments. Her little face was so cute and innocent asking for them, that I didn't want to say "no, those are tacky!" Right below were these tiny tinsel trees, so I said "how about you can have your own tree and you can put them on there" She was SO happy with that. Best 9.99 I've spent in a long time. She decorated the whole thing herself, proudly and quietly, while I put other decorations out around the house.

This is Kid C in her preschool class doing show and tell today.
I felt like total loser mom today because I forgot until 5 min before class that it was my day to help out and bring snack. THANK HEAVENS FOR SUE! She was able to take Kid C to class and cover for the first 30 min while i took Baby R to KidsPark and bought some crackers and juice and ran back by the house to get her show-and-tell object. I grabbed the tree, and that made Kid C forgive me I think. She got to tell the class all about it. So cute.

(here she is decorating)

sorry!!

2009-12-03T00:13:00.000-08:00

I know, Baby Tuesday is majorly late! I know!

I've been working like crazy trying to make deadlines before I leave for Dallas. And on top of that training for the half marathon (aaaa!)

But to show you that i"m not making it up, check out the video I just finished!

Turkey for me, turkey for you, let's eat turkey in a big brown shoe

2009-11-26T19:43:00.000-08:00

I'm getting up before 2am tomorrow to join Joanne and Kara tomorrow for Black Friday.

I have never done something crazy like this before, but it was their idea. I'm just along for the ride. I will for sure take photos of all the maniacs running each other down with walmart shopping carts.

But here's some pics of Thanksgiving, after my Turkey Trot of course.

Check out Baby R's cool H&M outfit. I saved it special for today. And yeah, those are skinny-fit pants with a big robot accessory on them. Awesomeness.

Kevin's aunts, uncles, cousins, grandfather, etc.

El Guapo!

baton wielding powder keg.

Everyone!

Baby Tuesday on Wednesday

2009-11-25T19:31:00.000-08:00

I didn't forget.
Well I kind of forgot, and then I would remember. And then I would forget and now I'm posting this.

Thankfulness Homework Day 1

2009-11-23T15:08:00.000-08:00

Mark said we had to write down one thing we're thankful for this week. One different thing per day. I think that means for 7 days.

So today, I'll do the obvious:

My babies.

I'm thankful that they are incredibly healthy, mentally and physically.
And thankful that they are pretty darn cute and loveable.

Even if I don't *really* pray at night. (by "really" I mean, focusing and making a real effort) I almost always thank God for my C & R.

(even if they drive me crazy ;) )